French’s International Copyrighted (in England, her Colonies, and 
the United States) Edition of the Works of the Best Authors 


No. 227. 


MRS. MAINWARING’S 
MANAGEMENT 

a GomeOg tn Gwo acts 


BY 

JOHN REDHEAD FROOME, JR. 


Copyright, 1912, by Samuel, French 


ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 



> i 


New York 
SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 

28-30 WEST 38th STREET 


London 


SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 
26 Southampton Street 
STRAND 









MRS. MAINWARING’S 
MANAGEMENT 


a ComefcB tn Zxvo Bets 


BY 

JOHN REDHEAD FROOME, JR. 


Copyright, 1912, by Samuel French 


ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 


New York 
SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 

2840 WEST 38th STREET 


> > > 

•o ’ 

London 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 
26 Southampton Street 
STRAND 







MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGE¬ 
MENT 


Time.— Last Saturday evening. 

Place.— The Mainwaring living room . 

CHARACTERS. 

Mrs James Mainwaring. 


Mr. Steven Andrews. 

Miss Louise Page. 
Miss Sylvia Throng. 

Mr. Telford Brown. 
Miss Jane Brewster. 


> Engaged. 


Engaged. 


Mr. Frederick Liecester. 


Engaged . 



TMPS2-009265 

© Cl, D 3071? 

/ 



MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGE¬ 
MENT 


The Setting.—A living room of simple, comfort¬ 
able and habitable luxuriance and home-like ap¬ 
pearance. An air of subtle happiness pervades 
the atmosphere. There are flowers, pictures, 
photographs, bric-a-brac and pillows, etc., in 
almost reckless, careless confusion. Double door 
rear center leading to hall. Door left lead¬ 
ing to the dining room. Table center ivith 
lighted lamp, whose rays are soft and bril¬ 
liant. Books, magazines, paper-cutter, etc., 
on table. A chair, an armchair, to right of 
table, and close to it. To left of table is another 
chair, but far enough away to allow the passage 
of a person between it and the table. Up right 
is an open desk at right angles to rear, with back 
towards the door. A small chair is in front of 
the desk; on the desk is a telephone. Several 
other easy, comfortable-looking chairs ore right 
and left. Up left may be a book-case, piano, or 
fire-place, ivith chairs in front of it. At rise of 
curtain the stage is empty. Then the telephone 
bell rings. There is a pause and no reply. The 
bell rings again, and before it stops Mrs. Main- 
waring enters left and before she gets fully into 
the room she turns in the doorway. 

Mrs. M. Just a moment, Sophy. I’ll tell you 

3 



4 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


what to do with that as soon as I answer the ’phone. 
(crosses to desk, singing softly. Takes off receiver ) 
Hello. Yes,—Oh, Jimmy, is it you?—Well?—Can’t 
come! Oh, Jim, you must. What’ll I do without 
you? It’s too late to get some one in your place, 
and— Cant you make it in time? It’ll simply 
spoil the whole dinner—Well, I suppose it can’t be 
helped, but I’d like to be within speaking distance 
of these directors and their special meeting, I’d 
manage—( changing manner and laughing) Well, I 
would manage. This thing of business at all hours 
of the day and night, too, is more than exasperating. 
—Well,—by eleven then. Good-bye, dear.—Oh, Jim. 
—Pshaw, he’s gone. ( works receiver-hook) Main 
30, please,—Jimmy? Yes, this is Marcia again.— 
(laughing) Jimmy,—er—ah—Caruso and Destin 
sing in Aida Wednesday night and- 

(Louise appears in rear door, hands behind her as if 
fastening a button. Waits for Marcia to finish. 
Marcia doesn't see her.) 

Marcia. ( continuing ) I’ll take the seats for 
then, please.— ( laughs ) I think I’m safe.—Well 
then, you’ll have to get busy mighty quick. But I 
won’t keep you. Awfully sorry you can’t come now. 
Good-bye again. ( hangs up receiver and sighs, rises 
and crosses left) 

Louise. Marcia, dear. 

Marcia. Oh, Louise, what a dream of a gown. 

Louise. Will you fix these two hooks for me, 
please? Just out of reach. 

Marcia. Certainly. Come over here to the light. 
(Louise comes doivn to table) But, say, the worst 
luck has- 

Louise, (interrupting) Jane and Sylvia are so 
busy with their own things, I thought I would run 




MRS. MAIN WAKING’S MANAGEMENT 


5 


down here and get you to help me. (as Marcia fixes 
the hooks, Louise toys ivith things on the table) 
Got them all right? 

Marcia. Just a moment. Say, Louise, what do 
you think? 

Louise. I think you are a perfect dear, to have 
this week-end for us girls, and the men here to-night 
for dinner. 

Marcia. Don’t be silly, Louise. There, they’re 
fastened. 

Louise. Thanks. (crosses left) 

Marcia. The worst luck ever. 

Louise. Why, what ? 

Marcia. Jimmie can’t be here. 

Louise. Can’t be here? Why? 

Marcia. Horrid old business at the last minute. 
He thinks all he has to do is to attend to business. 
His wife and his guests can—Louise, what will we do 
with the men ? They can’t sit in the dining room 
alone and smoke after dinner. It simply makes me— 

Louise. Well, don’t take on so, Marcia. Jimmie 
probably knows what is best. We will all have to 
make the best of it. You can manage. Where is 
your brother Tom. Get him. 

Marcia. Tom is out of town. 

Louise. Well, it isn’t as if we weren’t all engaged, 
you know. We’ve learned to take care of ourselves so 
far and- 

Marcia. Well, engaged couples sometimes need 
more attention ana caring for than any other kind. 
Measles are lots worse after they’ve broken out. 
What has the six of you being engaged got to do with 
it. ISTothing. 

Louise. But, Marcia- 

Marcia. A dinner is a dinner, and no hostess 
v^ants her plans broken up at the last moment by any¬ 
body or anything, let alone her husband. 




6 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


Louise. But Marcia, dear, you know Jimmie 
always prides himself on your ability^—er—to manage 
things. It seems to me as if you certainly ought to— 
be—able—to—er- 

Marcia. Now, Louise, don’t try to conciliate me, 
or say anything in extenuation of Jimmie’s behavior. 
It is positively outrageous to me and indecent to all 
of you. He knew that —(suddenly slopping, think¬ 
ing) 

Louise, (not noticing) It’s neither outrageous to 
you or indecent to us. It’s unfair to him. Now, 
don’t worry, the men will understand. 

Marcia, (abstractedly) I wonder, I wonder- 

Louise. You wonder what? 

Marcia. Did you hear what I said on the ’phone 
about Wednesday night and Aida? 

Louise. About Caruso and D( 

Marcia. Yes. I know this has something to do 
with it. 

Louise, (in great surprise) What? 

Marcia, (to herself) I’m almost sure of it. 

Louise. Now, Marcia, be rational. "What has this 
to do with Caruso and Destin? 

Marcia, (half laughing) Nothing with them, 


>estm singing? 


silly, but- 

Louise. Well, then, explain. 

Marcia, (again abstractedly) But. still —I don’t 
think he would in a case of this kind. (Louise 
makes a movement of impatience as if to leave the 
room) No, I’m wrong, Louise, it’s this. 

Louise. Well? 

Marcia. Two weeks ago Jimmie and I made a 
wager. He said— (happens to glance through the 
dining room door) Now, look at that, will you? 

Louise. What’s the matter? 

Marica. There’s that girl putting the silver on 
all wrong. I told her to wait. Come with me and 





MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


7 


IT1 tell you about it. (Jane and Sylvia heard to 
laugh in the hall ) No, here come the girls, you stay 
here and talk to them and I'll be back in a minute 
or two and tell you all about our bet. 

Louise. A bet with Caruso? 

Marcia, (laughing) No, no. Tell the girls about 
Jimmie. (going out) Sophy, that silver doesn’t 
belong there. You know I’ve told you— (exit) 

Louise. Well, I hope the silver and Sophy will 
bring you to earth again. 

(Enter Jane and Sylvia rear.) 

Louise. Oh, girls, your frocks are splendid, and 
your hair, Sylvia, how did you do it? 

Sylvia. Look again, will you? 

Louise. At what? 

Sylvia. The splendid frock. 

Louise, (looking and comprehending) You don’t 
mean it. That same one? All by yourself? Well, 
you are clever. It’s a dear. Telford will be proud 
of you. 

Jane, (looking at her own dress) Well, I hope 
Fred will be proud of me. 

Louise. There, Greeneves, yours is lovely, too. 

Jane. Well, it ought to be. But the only thing 
made over about it was the fuss when Dad saw the 
bill. But where’s Marcia? 

Louise. In the dining room. She’s in a terrible 
muddle and stew. 

Sylvia. A muddle ? 

Jane. A stew? What about? 

Louise. Oh, nothing. (smiling knowingly) 
only one of the men isn’t coming. 

Sylvia. Louise, it’s not Telford? 

Jane. You don’t mean it’s Fred? It’s rather 
sudden, isn’t it? 


8 


MRS. MAIN WAKING’S MANAGEMENT 


Sylvia. Louise, it’s nothing serious? 

Jane. Yes, has anything happened? 

Sylvia. What will I do if Telford is not here? 

Jane. Well if Fred Liecester stays away for any 
silly reason Fll- 

Sylvia. Louise, I know it’s something awful. 
How can you stand there and laugh when you see— 
(her voice breaks) 

Jane. ( sternly) Now Sylvia, don’t cry. Louise, 
I don’t see any sense in this. 

Sylvia. If you don’t tell me at once that it’s 
Telford I shall die. I mean I’ll die if you do. Is he 
hurt very much ? 

Jane, (thinking of Mrs. M.) Marcia, I’ll get the 
truth from her. (starts to cross left) 

Louise, (laughing very heartily and stopping her) 
For heaven’s sake, I’ll tell you if you’ll give me time. 

Sylvia, (again on the verge of tears) Well, we’ll 
give you time if you’ll only- 

Louise, (her laughter subsiding, and singing a 
line of “ Teasing,” goes to Sylvia, takes her face be¬ 
tween her hands and kisses her) No, it’s not Telford. 
He ought to be here any minute now. 

Sylvia. Well—er—ah- 

Louise, (turning to Jane) And it’s not your 
precious little Freddie, Jane, he’s too closely watched 
by you. 

Jane. Oh, then it must be Steve. 

Louise, (laughing again) No, not Steve. 

Jane, (fiery) Well, then, who? 

Louise. Jimmie!! 

Sylvia. Oh! 

Jane. I had forgotten him. 

Sylvia. So had I. 

Louise, (serio-comically) Forgotten! the price 
of matrimony, the penalty of being a husband—or a 
wife. The after-math of Mendelsohn. Forgottten! 





MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


9 


Poor Jimmie. ( bursts into laughter) If Marcia 
only knew. 

Jane. Louise, I fail to see the humor of it. I am 
going to find Marcia. 

Louise. She is just in the other room. 

Sylvia. ( endeavoring to brighten) What doing? 

Louise. Went to show Sophy something about 
the silver. And went out muttering something about 
Caruso and Destin and a wager with Jimmie. 

Jane. ( wonderingly ) Caruso and Destin and a 
wager with Jimmie? 

Louise. Yes. Said she’d tell us when she came 
in. At first she thought his absence to-night had 
something to do with it and then decided she was 
wrong. Say, it’s time the men were coming. Steve 
said this morning in his lett—over the ’phone—that 
he’d be here early, and it’s nearly- 

Sylvia. ( interrupts laughing) Now, who is 
worried ? 

Louise. Oh, not worried at all. Just anxious to 
see him. 

Jane. A distinction without a difference in your 
case. 

Louise. And yours?—dear? ( laughs) Well, 
you stay here in case any of them comes and I’ll go 
in and try to help Marcia. If Steve’s first call me 
at once. ( exit left) 

Sylvia. If Steve’s first we’ll not call her at all, 
just to get even. 

Jane. Well, she certainly worked you up to a 
high state of hysterics. (Sylvia is hurt) There, 
dearie, I didn’t mean anything. The way you show 
how you care for that man Telford—Now, I love 
Fred and—ah—I love him but I don’t cry about it. 

Sylvia. I always try not to. I hope I’ll be able to 
manage him like Marcia does Jimmie. 

Jane. Fiddlesticks, she thinks she does and he 



10 


MRS. MAIN WAKING’S MANAGEMENT 


lets her think it. That’s the way he manages her. 
She’d try to manage Jimmie’s business if he’d let 
her. 

Sylvia. Well, Jimmie is splendid just the same, 
and a model husband. 

Jane. That’s because of the mutual management. 
Never any misunderstandings. When Jimmie does 
a thing Marcia knows, when, where, how, and why 
he does it. 

Sylvia. And when I marry Telford that’s just 
the way I want him to be. To tell me everything. I 
know if he ever kept anything from me it would break 
my heart. 

Jane. Well, I am going to know when, where, 
how and why Fred does anything either before or 
after marriage. 

(Enter Louise left) 

Louise. Found her way out in the kitchen 
superintending the dressing of the salad. 

Sylvia. Managing the salad, you mean. 

Louise. Managing is good, for it was certainly 
being done her way. And while I was there a mes¬ 
senger came around to the back door with this. 
(holding up a letter) For ( reading it) Miss Jane 
Brewster. 

Jane, (greatly surprised.) What? Forme? How 
strange. 

Louise. Possibly, another regret from—Fred. 
(hands letter to Jane) 

Jane, (taking it) Queer. It’s typewritten. 
(picks up paper-cutter from table and proceeds to 
open it) 

Sylvia. Jane was just saying what she expected 
of Fred when they are married. Louise, do you think 
Steve ought to tell you everything? 

Louise. I most certainly do, dearie. 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


11 


Sylvia. But if he won’t? 

Jane. (has been reading letter and staring at it in 
blank amazement) Girls! 

Louise. What on earth is it? 

Jane. Now what do you think of this? 

Louise. ( excitedly ) What’s the matter? 

Jane. Of all the strange, queer—Listen to this. 
(reads blankly and slowly) Ask the men before 
dinner who took Miss O’Neil driving this afternoon, 
(repeating) Miss O’Neil driving this afternoon. 
Yours for your future happiness, P. S. Please de¬ 
stroy at once. 

Louise, (taking paper) Well, for goodness sake, 
what can it mean? 

Sylvia, (crosses and silently reads it with her) 

Louise. Who is Miss O’Neil? 

Jane. Why, it’s that Hazel O’Neil visiting Mrs. 
Thomas, Jimmie’s sister. 

Sylvia. Oh! I met her at the Country Club 
last Saturday. 

Jane. That little delft blue saucer-eyed, bleached- 
out blond kind that men call sweet. 

Louise. And do you suppose it can be that one of 
our men has taken her driving this afternoon without 
our permission? 

Jane. There is no suppose about it. It’s there in 
black and white. What more do you want than that ? 

Sylvia. Let’s don’t pay any attention to it. It 
may be a joke. 

Jane. Joke, your granny’s nightcap. Let’s see 
that paper again, Louise, (reads) Please destroy at 
once. Well, we’ll certainly not destroy it. (folds 
and tucks it in her belt with a determined air) It’s 
an imposition, that’s what it is. An imposition on 
us. 

Louise. Yes, our engagements have not been an¬ 
nounced longer than four weeks and- 



12 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


Jane. And they’re out driving with someone else. 

Louise. But what’s to do? 

Sylvia. I’m sure it wasn’t Tel. 

Jane. That’s just it. You’re not sure. It may 
have been Tel and it may not. (looking at Louise) 
And there’s plenty to do. 

Louise. But, don’t you see, we are not sure of 
anything ? 

Jane. That’s it again. We are not sure but 
we’ve got to be. Suppose it was Tel, is that fair to 
Sylvia? Now don’t cry, Sylvia, we’ve got to think. 
Suppose it was Steve, is that fair to you ? No! Or 
suppose it was Fred? Is that fair to me? Well, I’ll 
not answer that question now. 

Louise. And, it’s not fair to all of us that we 
don’t know which. 

Jane. Again you’re right. ( decidedly) And I, 
for one, am going to know. 

Sylvia. But, let’s be calm, and try to think, as 
Jane says. 

Louise. At least let’s pretend we don’t know any¬ 
thing about it, to-night. We can’t spoil Marcia’s 
dinner. 

Sylvia. Yes, it’s bad enough without Jimmie. 

Louise. And, to-morrow will be time enough to 
investigate. 

Jane. Well, I am surprised at you, Louise Page. 
To-morrow! Huh! and until then allowing who¬ 
ever it was to pat himself on the back and call us 
easy. With all due respect to Marcia’s dinner- 

Louise. But, Jane dear, then let’s wait until 
after dinner. We can’t quarrel openly in Marcia’s 
house. Maybe by that time it will be explained. 

Sylvia. Yes, let’s wait. 

Louise. (starting to laugh, and the others look 
at her) Girls, why not ask them which? We never 
thought of that with all of our thinking. 



MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


13 


Jane. No, so we didn’t, but- 

Louise. Now, Jane, no buts. 

Jane, (out of patience) But they won’t tell. As 
soon as we ask them they’ll begin to feel important 
about it and refuse to answer. 

Louise, (at dining-room door) Well, we won’t 
cross that bridge until we come to it. Here comes 
Marcia. Now, promise, Jane, that until we give the 
men a chance to tell that we’ll not have any trouble. 
J ane. Well,—we’ll see. 

Sylvia. Oh, I hope it will be all right. Here she 
comes. 

(All seat themselves and try to looh unconcerned.) 

(Enter Marcia.) 

Marcia. Well, that’s done. Oh, you’re all down, 
are you. The men ought to be here any moment now. 
(Jane stirs) Did Louise tell you about Jimmy? 
Sylvia. Yes, we’re so sorry, Marcia. 

Marcia. Well, it is a shame. But, I suppose we 
can manage some way. 

Louise. I’m sure he’d come if he could. 

Sylvia. Don’t worry about it, Marcia. Your 
dinner will be lovely just the same. 

(There is a pause. Jane has been ominously silent, 
Louise apprehensive and Sylvia anxious.) 

Louise. Oh, by the wa} r , Marcia. When you went 
out you were saying something about Caruso and 
Destin and a wager with Jimmy. What about it? 

Marcia. Oh, I forgot, (laughs) It was this. 
You know Jimmy calls me the boss manager. I 
suppose it’s because he’s the boss, and I manage him. 
Well, anyway. Two weeks ago we made a wager. 
We bet seats for the Metropolitan Company next 



14 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


week that in two weeks, ending to-day, that a con¬ 
dition of affairs would arise that I could not manage. 

Sylvia. And, has there been such a condition? 

Marcia. Certainly not. I’ve had no end of 
trouble with the butcher and the grocer and Sophy, 
and every time I’ve managed. 

Jane. ( has been looking moodily ahead and sud¬ 
denly starts) Did he say, Marcia, that a condition 
of affairs would arise ( taking out note) or that he 
would arrange a force of circumstances. ( looking 
thoughtfully at note so that Marcia can not see it) 

Louise. ( noticing Jane’s action and 'perceiving 
her point) Yes, did he, Marcia. 

Marcia. Well, I’d like to see him arrange any 
force of circumstances, as } r ou put it, that I could not 
beat down. Come to think of it, he did intimate 
something of the sort, but- 

Jane. And this wager is of two weeks’ standing, 
ending to-day? 

Marcia. Yes—but why so serious, Jane. 

Jane. To-day, or to-night. 

Marcia. Well —er—ah—to-night, I suppose. 

But, nothing- 

Louise. Yes, nothing can happen to-night, when 
he’s not here. Can there, Sylvia? 

Sylvia. Why,—that is—No. 

Marcia. Girls, I don’t understand. You seem so 
concerned. One would think that—( door-bell rings) 
Oh, there’s the first of the men. Nov/, while I let 
him in, for Heaven’s sake cheer up. You, Jane. 
(exits hurriedly, rear to left) 

Louise. ( jumping up from chair) Don’t you see, 
Jane, it’s as clear as day. It’s all Jimmy’s doings. 
The wager. The note. That’s why he isn’t here. 
Oh, this is great. ( laughs ) 

Sylvia. Oh, I see it all now. (but looks as if 
she didn't) 




MRS. MAIN WAKING’S MANAGEMENT 


15 


Jane. Of course I see. But that doesn’t mitigate 
the circumstances any, does it? Jimmy or no 
Jimmy, one of them took that O’Neil girl driving. 

Louise. Yes, but—( smoothly ) 

Jane. Well, we’ve got to find out. If we don’t, 
they’ll be doing something worse the next time, and 
the next and the next. 

(Sylvia is listening closely.) 

Louise. But we can find out. Don’t you see? 
If Jimmy sent the note, why, Jimmie knows who did 
it. We’ll call up Jimmy. 

Jane. Very good. But we can’t now. She’ll be 
back any moment.—Suppose we tell her what Jimmy 
is doing. 

Louise. But, we can’t tell her anything, can we? 
“ We’re not sure of anything. 

(Laughing heard outside in hall.) 

Sylvia. Well, here they come. 

Louise. Now, let’s be careful. 

Jane. Well, I’m going to treat them all alike 
until I know which one of them did it, dinner party 
or no dinner party, wager or no wager. 

(Enter Marcia and Steve.) 

Marcia. Ladies, Mr. Andrews. Mr. Andrews, 
ladies in general and Louise in particular. We have 
been waiting so anxiously for you. 

Sylvia, (to Jane) Oh, I am so glod it is not 
Telford yet. 

Louise, (going up to him) Glad you’re here, 
Steve. 

Steve. You can bet I am too. Hello, Sylvia,— 


16 


MRS. MAINWARINCJS MANAGEMENT 


(,shakes hands) and Jane, (she returns greeting 
coldly ) Why, what in- 

Jane. ( seeing Marcia has noticed) Why, eh— 
er—have you seen Fred? 

Marcia. He says Telford and Fred will be here 
soon, coming in Fred’s auto. Now, I’ll go out and 
get things moving. Make yourselves at home, every¬ 
body. (exit left. Before the others can speak, re¬ 
turns) When the others come let them in, Sylvia 
and Jane, and tell them about Jimmie, (exit) 

Steve. What about Jimmie? 

Louise. He won’t be here. 

Steve. Not at all? 

Louise. No, at least, not until late. 

Jane. Perhaps Steve could enlighten us now. 

Louise. But, let’s wait, Jane, until we can call 
up Jimmie. 

Steve. Say, what’s all this about, anyway ? 
There seems to be something the matter somehow, 
somewhere, (looking at Jane) 

Jane. Well, there is, and you’ll soon find out, 
one of you. 

Sylvia. Remember Marcia, Jane. 

Jane, (crossly) Never mind, Sylvia. 

Steve. But, I say, put a fellow next, won’t you? 
I don’t understand this. It’s very— (hell rings) 

Sylvia, (to Jane) Maybe it’s Telford. I’ll go. 

Jane. Well, do. (exit Sylvia rear to left) 

Steve. Louise, won’t you tell me? 

Louise. Well, there is a little misunderstanding, 
Steve, and- 

Steve. Misunderstanding, about whom? 

Louise. Well, one of you men. 

Steve. Why, what about? 

Louise. Oh, we’ll tell you later. 

Jane, (bluntly and to the point) Do you know 
who went driving with Hazel O’Neil this afternoon? 
I’m not asking if you did. 




MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


17 


Steve. ( completely taken aback) Why,—eh—yes, 
er—I— er—ah- 

Jane. Do you know? 

(Enter Sylvia and Fred, the latter laughing.) 

Jane. ( folding her arms and drawing herself up) 

Ah! 

Fred. ( quickly looking about) Is Steve here? 
(then sees him) Hello, Louise and Jane. ( shakes 
hands with each. Jane scorns him but Fred doesn't 
notice) Deucedly glad to see you. 

Jane. ( looking furious) And I am to see you, 
Fred Leicester. Perhaps you can tell us. 

Louise. Wait, can’t you, Jane? 

Fred. Tell you what? 

Jane. Who went driving with that O’Neil girl 
this afternoon? Do you know? 

Fred. ( thinking and smiling) Why, certainly I 
know. 

Jane. You won’t tell? 

Fred. Not if you ask me that way. 

Jane. You see, Louise, what did I tell you? 

Steve. Well, I’ll be hanged. 

Sylvia. Oh, dear, I hope Telford- 

Louise. ( going up to ’phone) Well, I am going 
to call up Jimmie now and get the straight of this. 

Fred. Why, isn’t Jimmie here? 

Jane. ( joining Louise) If he were we wouldn’t 
be calling him up, would we? Main 30 is the num¬ 
ber, Louise. (Sylvia crosses to Jane and Louise) 

Louise. Give me Main 30, please. 

Fred. (looking at girls and crossing quickly to 
Steve, down left) I wanted to beat you here, old 
man, so I could warn you. There is going to be the 
deuce to pay to-night. ( chuckles over the thought of 
it) Now, listen! You know who went driving with 
the O’Neil girl this afternoon, don’t you? 




18 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


Steve. (nodding his head and waiting) Y-yes. 

Fred. Well, for the sake of a wager between 
Jimmie and his wife, don't tell. 

Louise. ( impatiently , at the 'phone) Yes, I said 
Main 30. Main 3-0. 

Fred. Now, it will be all right. It's like this. 
Jimmie has cooked up this mess and has a wager with 
Marcia that she can't straighten it out. Of course 
there'll be no end of a row with the girls, and at the 
same time no end of fun. Marcia doesn't know any¬ 
thing about it, and we mustn't let her find it out. 

Steve. ( doubtfully, and pointing to the girls) 
Yes, but won't they reach him now? 

Fred. Lord, no, he's not there. 

Louise. There must be something the matter 
with this line. 

Jane. Give me that 'phone. (takes Louise's seat 
and works at receiver a little) Main 30, 30 we asked 
for. 

Fred. ( laughing softly at their predicament) If 
Jimmie wins he'll square us with the girls. 

Steve. But, if Marcia does? 

Fred. Why, she'll square us. She’ll have to. 

Steve. But, how about Tel? 

Fred. He's on, too. Jimmie called him up be¬ 
fore he did me. Said you'd gone. 

{Bell rings.) 

Fred. There he is now. 

Steve. Well, I'm in for it if you say it's 0. K., 
but we don't want to be too rash. 

Jane, {putting up the 'phone impatiently) 
Doesn’t answer. Did you ever know it to fail. 

{Bell rings again.) 

Sylvia. Oh, there’s Telford. What'll I do. 



MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


19 


Jane. ( sternly) Go get him. 

(Exit Sylvia meekly and nervously.) 

{While she is gone the four on the stage hold their 
positions. Jane determined. Louise per¬ 
plexed. The men impassive.) 

{Enter Sylvia and Telford.) 

Sylvia, {on the verge of tears) I asked him in 
the hall and he wouldn’t tell. 

(Telford looks at the men and then at the girls.) 

Jane. You see again. I told you so. 

Telford, {in middle of room) Hello, Louise. 

Louise, {a little more distant) How do you do, 
Telford. 

Telford. And Jane, {she doesn’t reply) Hello, 
fellows, {shakes hands) I say {in an undertone) 
isn’t this a little too deep? If I had known Sylvia 
would feel so about it, she’s really serious, and it’s 
no joke with her. 

Fred. How, it’ll be all right, old man. 

Jane. Telford Brown, do you know,—did you 
take that O’Neil girl driving? 

Telford. Did I? {looking at the men) Did 
anyone take Miss O’Neil driving this afternoon? 

Jane. Yes, one of you did, and you know it. 

Sylvia. Oh, Jane. 

Louise, {suddenly) Now, I’m going to have a 
say. (Steve shifts his position) Will you or will 
you not tell—what we want to know? {the men 
look at each other furtively but do not reply) Well, 
then, that settles it. I was going to give you the 
benefit of the doubt, but when Telford came—and 


20 


MRS. MAIN WAKING’S MANAGEMENT 


yon act so unbearably—you might at least consider 
Marcia. What are we going to do at the table. Her 
dinner table, (an awkward pause) Steve, whether 
it was you or not, I am ashamed of you. 

(Sylvia commences to cry softly, and Jane 

goes up to her) 

Louise. ( continuing) And you too, Fred and 
Telford. It’s bad enough to have it happen any 
time but when we are engaged.- 

Marcia, (entering hurriedly) All here? Good. 
Dinner is— (perceives the situation) Wiry, what is 
the matter? Sylvia crying? Why, Louise, you are 
angry—and you men—I don’t understand. What 
is it, folks? Tell me. Jane, you at least look 
calm. Tell me— You’ve not quarreled? 

Jane. It’s this, Marcia. We’ve learned that one 
of our—one of the—that is, that either Steve, Tel¬ 
ford or Fred went driving this afternoon with your 
sister-in-law’s guest, Miss O’Neil, (the men laugh 
among themselves) That in itself was bad enough, 
if it weren’t made worse by the fact that they won’t 
tell which it was. So, you see, we—ah—Did you 
say dinner is served? Come, Louise, Sylvia dear, we 
can at least go in. (they start towards door left) 

Marcia. But you can’t go in like this. You men 
—I am surprised. Fred, take Jane. Telford, Syl¬ 
via, and Steve, Louise. 

(At mention of the first name the girls toss their 
heads and pass independently into the dining¬ 
room in front of the men. The men are laugh¬ 
ing and follow them in. Marcia is astounded.) 

Marcia. Well, this is a sudden turn. I never 
would have thought that they could have done a 



MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 21 


thing of this sort, (pauses) I wonder which one 
it was ? At any rate, it’s a snarl for me to untangle. 
Something to manage. Jimmie, Jimmie, if you 
yourself had planned this! Well, Caruso and Destin 
and the wager would be yours, for I confess— 
(changing manner) But I will manage it somehow. 
There’s got to be a way, ( going out left) and I’ll 
find it. 

Moment's pause. The men are heard laughing in 

the dining-room. 

CURTAIN. 


SECOND ACT. 

Scene : — The same, an hour and a half later. 

At rise of curtain the men's laughter is again heard 
in the dining-room. Enter left Jane, Sylvia, 
Louise and Marcia, in the order given. The 
girls with a determined, resolute air. Girls 
cross to rear door. 

Marcia. But, girls, don’t go like this. Wait 
just a little while longer. Perhaps I can manage-- 

Jane. No, you can’t, and there’s no use trying. 
It’s gone the limit and w~e might as well leave them. 

Louise. Oh, it was insufferable. Absolutely in¬ 
tolerable. Such a dinner. 

Sylvia. Oh, I’m—I’m so—Marcia, dear, what 
can we do? Can’t you do something? ( very ear¬ 
nestly) 

Jane. There’s no use wasting words about it. 
We’ll go up to your sitting room and stay there. 




I 


22 MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 

When they make up their minds to be decent about 
this, to tell us which one of them took that girl 
driving, we’ll come down and be—civil. But until 
then- 

Marcia. But, Jane- 

Jane. My mind is made up. Let’s go, girls. 
(Sylvia hesitates, looking towards dining room) 
Come, Sylvia. 


{Exit the girls.) 

Marcia, (following) But let’s be reasonable. 
Let’s— (exit) 

(More laughter from dining room. Enter Marcia 
from the rear, crossing hurriedly to door left 
and exit. Laughter ceases. Enter left Marcia 
and Fred, smoking.) 

Marcia, (crossing to right of table) Now see 
here, Fred, I think this has gone far enough. 

Fred, (just inside of door, half amused) I’m 
very sorry, Marcia. I’ll admit, too, that it’s gone far 
enough, but I can’t help it. The trouble is I think 
it’s going still farther. 

Marcia. But you can help it. Don’t stand up 
there in that fashion and tell me you can’t, when you 
know very well one of you holds the key to the 
situation. 

Fred. And are you sure it will unlock the door of 
our difficulties? I mean, your difficulties? 

Marcia. Why, you know it will. I’m nearly des¬ 
perate over this thing. Such a dinner table I never 
presided over. I wish Jimmie were here. (Fred 
smiles knowingly) He’d tell you what’s what. 

Fred. Yes, probably. But where are the girls? 
(in differently) 




MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


o o 


Marcia. Upstairs. Jane is perfectly furious. 
(Fred whistles) and I don’t blame her. It’s out¬ 
rageous to think an engaged man takes a girl driv¬ 
ing when his fiance does not know it. And then not 
to tell which one of you did it. I wish, you were 
engaged to me. I’d manage- 

Fred. ( interrupting ) Well, I’m going back to 
join the fellows and finish my smoke. If you see the 
girls—Jane—you might tell her the fable of Little 
Bo-peep. 

Marcia. Fred! 

Fred. Well, I think they will. Oh, by the way, 
Marcia, I want to congratulate you. 

Marcia. What for ? 

Fred. On winning your wager with Jimmie. 

Marcia. How do you know anything about it? 

Fred. He told me at lunch to-day. I always 
thought you exceptionally clever, but don’t you think 
this evening- 

Marcia. Well, thank the Lord, Jimmie has noth¬ 
ing to do with this. 

Fred. He has until this evening is over, hasn’t 
he? 

Marcia. Well, yes. 

Fred. Then, it might be well for you to see that 
he doesn’t hear about this if- 

Marcia. Well, there are no ifs about it. I am 
going to manage this thing, somehow. 

Fred. Success to you, then. I am going in. 
When the Bo-peeps come down tell them they’ll find 
their lambs in here. (exit left) 

Marcia. ( disgustedly) Lambs! 

(Enter Sylvia rear from right.) 

Sylvia. Oh, Marcia, are you here ? I’m so fright¬ 
ened and nervous. 





24 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


Marcia. Well, that’s not going to help matters. 

Sylvia. It’s Telford. I love him so, and this 
nearly breaks my heart. And I am sure from the 
way he looked at me at dinner he would like to have 
it over with, too. 

Marcia. Well, he knows how well enough. 

Sylvia. But he says he’s promised, and he won’t 
break his promise I know. I think we ought to over¬ 
look it. 

Marcia. Well, vou convince Jane of that. But 
we can’t stand here talking when we’ve got to do 
something, Sylvia, if there’s any—( stops — think¬ 
ing) I believe I know how it can be done. ( ex¬ 
citedly) Let’s go upstairs and find the girls. I 
think I have it. 

Sylvia. Oh, good, have you? How? 

Marcia. Come on, I’ll tell you all. (Exeunt 

rear right) 

(Enter, the men. Fred first, cautiously sticking his 
head through the door. Then Telford and 
Steve.) 

Fred. Now don’t go and spoil it all. It’ll come 
out alright. You needn’t worrv. 

o J 

Steve. Of course it’ll come out alright—perhaps. 
It’s beginning to look serious. 

Telford. That’s what it is, old man. With all 
due regard to Jimmie and his wager, I think we 
ought to put an end to it. 

Steve. When I promised I didn’t think the 
girls would take on so. 

Telford. Neither did I. 

Fred. And neither did I, that’s just it. They’ve 
got no business to take on like this. One would 
think we were just out of grammar school. If they 
can’t depend on us to do the right thing, then they 
had better not trust us at all. 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 25 


Telford. Fred, you don’t mean that they- 

Fred. No, I don’t mean that exactly, but I think 
if we stick this thing out it will teach them a lesson. 
Jane especially. Why, I’ll be led a dog’s life if this 
sort of thing keeps up, and we ought to be glad of 
the chance to assert ourselves. 

Steve. Well, I see your view point all right, but 
don’t you think it has gone far enough? 

Telford. Well, I’ve a mind to chuck it all, any¬ 
how. Confound Jimmie, it’s all right for him. lie’s 
married and on the other side of the fence. We’re 
not—yet. There will be no making up to do between 
him and Marcia. 

Steve. Whereas, if we want to climb the fence, 
wee’ll have to ask the girls to give us a hand sooner 
or later. 

Fred. There’s no use getting metaphorical about 
it. I thought you fellows were game and in for a 
good time. Of course, if you want to give in to 
three girls whose positions are utterly untenable 
you can, but I am going to stick to Jimmie. 

Steve. For the sake of his wager? 

Fred. No, for the sake of Jimmie, and justice 
to ourselves. 

Telford. Well, hang his old wager, is what I say, 
and as for justice to ourselves, I look at that in an¬ 
other light. Why, it’s the girls that make the world 
go round. 

Steve. But it’s gossip that makes the girls go 
round. 

Fred. Yes, and then they make us go round. 

Steve. I don’t want Louise to think- 

Fred. Oh, you fellows make me tired. When 
the forces are even I’m in for the fight. But, when 
it’s five against one I might as well lay down my 
little tin spear. 

Steve. That’s it exactly. Your weapons are only 




26 MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


tin, and onr armor is nothing more than the queen’s 
lace handkerchief. 

Telford. ’Fess up, Fred, we are on the wrong 
side. 

Fred. And you’ve the wrong view point. How¬ 
ever, are you willing to tell Sylvia who went driv¬ 
ing this afternoon? 

Telford. Well, yes. 

Fred. And you, Steve? 

Steve. Yes, to put an end to it. But I’ll tell 
you what I’ll do. I’ll call up Jimmie at the Club. 
He’s possibly there and ask him to release you from 
your promise. 

Fred. And spoil his wager? 

Telford. What’s that to do with our happiness? 

Fred. Well, then, do it. But I pity our figurative 
hides when we see Jimmie Mainwaring. Call him 
up, Steve, if you want to. I’m too dry in the throat. 
I am going out and try some of the aforesaid 
Jimmy’s brandy and soda. Come on Tel, let’s 
drink to the success of Marcia’s victory, (sarcastic 
and disgusted) 

Telford. I’ll join you, but mine will be to the 
ladies. 

FrcD. Ah, yes, ( very sarcastic) the ladies. 
(starts to go) 

Steve. Just a moment, what is his Club? 

Telford. The Neapolitan, Main 124. 

Fred. Come on, you ladies’ man. (exit left) 

Telford. Hurry up, Steve, or Marcia will catch 
you. 

Steve. All right, and then I’ll call the girls. 

(Exit Telford left.) 

Steve. (crosses to \phone and sits at deslc) 
Hello, Exchange, Main 124. 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


27 


(Marcia and Louise are heard talking in hall . 

Enter Marcia and Louise.) 

Louise. I certainly hope your plan will work, 
Marcia. 

Marcia. Well, it will if you go about it in the 
right way. If you can’t get it out of Steve, and the 
other girls are unsuccessful—well, it’s the only way 
I can think of. Give you each a trial at your own 
man. 

(Steve looks surprised . Carefully replaces the 
’phone and crouches behind desk as much as 
possible.) 

Louise. Well, Steve Andrews has gone just too 
far this time. If you can get him in here, I’ll get 
the truth out of him if I have to drag it out. 

(Steve raises his eyebroivs.) 

Marcia. Well, that sounds like you meant it. 
And remember, as a last resort, if he won’t tell, 
give up your ring. That will scarce it out of him. 

Louise. All right, but I’d hate to do it. 

Marcia. Well, I’m going. Oh, I hope I can 
manage it. (exit rear right) 

Louise, (calling after Marcia) But how am I 
going to get him in here. I wouldn’t call him for 
the world. (Steve laughs in his sleeve literally) 
Marcia, Marcia, wait a minute, (exit, following her) 

Steve, (getting up) Oh, she will, will she? 
Well, this changes matters somewhat. (looks at 
3 phone) Jimmie, I think you’ll win. So that’s 
their game, is it? Wait till I put the fellows next 
to this. Especially the rings. Fred will go crazy. 
(exit hurriedly into dining room) 


28 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


{Enter Marcia and Louise.) 

Marcia. Well, then, I ? ll call him. ( laughing ) 
And when he comes in he’ll expect to find me and 
won’t think of seeing yon here. 

Louise. Well, hurry, then, I’m getting more 
squeamish every moment. 

Marcia. And remember, I’ll be down the hall 
waiting for you, and if you fail we’ll get Jane down. 
{at door left) Steve, Steve! {greeted with laugh¬ 
ter from dining room ) 

Steve, {from within ) In a moment. I’m in the 
middle of a great story. 

Marcia. Well, hurry, please. 

Louise. Oh dear. Oh dear. 

Steve. Just a second. 

Marcia. All right. Now Louise, don’t flunk. 

Louise. You can count on me. {exit Marcia 
hurriedly to rear right ) 

{Enter Steve.) 

Steve. Oh, it’s you. I didn’t think- 

Louise. No, you didn’t think you’d see me, did 
you? Well, I’m here. 

Steve. Yes, you’re very much in evidence. 

Louise. Now, don’t try to be funny, Steve. 

Steve, {laughing) Well, it would be funny if I 
tried. 

Louise. {losing patience ) But you’re trying 
now. 

Steve. Then it must be funny. Ha, ha. He, he. 

Louise. Steve Andrews, stop that, at once. Can’t 
you be a gentleman? 

Steve. Louise! 

Louise. Well, I mean it. From your actions this 
evening you are not the Stephen Andrews I used 
to know. Not the one who asked me to marry him. 




MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


29 


Steve. And the way you look now, you are cer¬ 
tainly not the girl I asked to marry me. 

Louise. Well, whose fault is it, primarily? 

Steve, {amused od the word) Primarily? Why, 
primarily yours. 

Louise. Mine! 

Steve. Yes, because you made me fall in love with 
you, primarily, or was it the other way, primarily? 

Louise. Don’t ridicule, Steve. 

Steve. Don’t you ridicule Steve. 

Louise. ( disgusted ) Oh! ( picks up a booh and 
slams it on the table. Steve does the same ) 
Seriously, Steve. 

Steve. Well, then, seriously. 

Louise. Will you tell me what I, what we, what 
Marcia wants to know? 

Steve. And that is-- 

Louise. You know. 

Steve. Yes? 

Louise. Which one of you took Hazel O’Neil 
driving ? 

Steve. You want me to answer that? 

Louise. I do. 

Steve. Well, then, I can’t. 

Louise. You can’t? 

Steve. I said, can’t. 

Louise. You mean to stand up there and tell me 
you can’t when you know? Do you think that is 
treating me fair, whom you say you love? Ah, your 
refusal means that it was you. 

Steve. I refuse to answer. 

Louise. There, you see. You did, you did. 

Steve, {breaking in) you know you did, you stole 
your mother’s tea-pot lid. 

Louise, {perfectly furious and beside herself) 
Steve! and this is what you call love. You, love! 
Answer me, isn’t it bad enough for you to take her 



30 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


driving, openly, in the streets where everyone can 
see yon, when everyone knows we are engaged. Isn’t 
that sin of commission sufficient, without committing 
one of omission, in refusing to tell me it was you. 

Steve. Well, I shall certainly not commit one of 
submission. 

Louise. Don’t answer me. (Steve attempts to 
interrupt ) Don’t speak to me. A sin of submission, 
you say, well, do you think that sin will be on my 
hands? No! nor your ring, either. ( pulls it off) 
Here take it, and keep it. (puts it on table) Thanks 
for your fitting words. I fling them back at you 
with your love and my ring. Keep them both, I say. 
I want none of them and none of } r ou. 

Steve readies out without a moment’s hesitation, 
very calmly takes the ring and places it on his 
little finger, looks at it and begins to whistle. 

Louise. ( thunderstruck) You don’t mean 

that- 

Steve. ( quietly ) Well, you gave it to me, didn’t 
you? 

Louise. ( more surprised than ever) Yes, that 
is- 

Steve. Is that all you have to say? 

(Louise does not reply. Steve takes out a cigarette 
and lights it, smiling to himself. Louise is too 
astounded for words and marches indignantly 
out of room to rear right. Steve blows out the 
match and looks laughingly after her.) 

Steve. Fred, I say! 

(Enter Feed and Teleord hurriedly.) 

Fred. Work? 





MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 31 


Steve. Splendidly. ( looks at ring) 

Telford. I wonder who’ll be the next? 

Marcia. ( outside) Jane, Jane, come down, will 
yon? 

Ered. Oh, Lord, my turn next. 

Steve. Well, buck up, old gun, don’t let her 
phase you. 

Fred. Don’t be afraid, I won’t. 

Telford. Chuck it, I hear them coming now. 

Fred. Well, I’m going in to have another bracer 
before the ordeal. Come on fellows, they mustn’t 
find us here. ( all run into dining room) 

{Enter Marcia to table, waits for Jane. She 

watches the dining room door . Enter Sylvia.) 

Marcia. You, Sylvia, I thought Jane- 

Sylvia. She made me come next. Said she 
wanted to think of some more things to say. {very 
wealcly) I wish that I—I don’t know what to say. 

Marcia. Well, say anything, but don’t cry, Syl¬ 
via. That will spoil it. 

Sylvia. Well, I’ll try. 

Marcia. You must. I’m trying my best to 
manage this thing, {at door) Telford, Telford. 

Telford, {within) Me? {surprised) 

Marcia. Here a moment, please. 

Telford. Coming. (Fred heard to laugh) 

Sylvia. I hope I won’t cry. 

Marcia. Well, you won’t, dearie. I’m sure. 
{exit rear right, hurriedly) 

(Sylvia looks very worried.) 

{Enter Telford.) 

Telford. Me ? Oh, is it you, Sylvia ? I thought 
— {suddenly stopping himself) 



32 


MRS. M AIN WARING r S MANAGEMENT 


Sylvia. Yes—it’s I Telford. 

Telford. ( noticing her tone immediately as¬ 
sumes a kindly attitude) Well, Sylvia. 

Sylvia. Telford? ( softly, lingering on the 

word) 

Telford. Yes. 


(A pause.) 

Sylvia. Telford? ( same tone as before) 
Telford. Yes, Sylvia. 

(Another pause.) 

Sylvia. Telford, I —er —ah - 

Telford. Yes, Sylvia. I’m listening. 

(Another pause.) 

Telford. Well, Sylvia? ( same tone as before) 
Sylvia. Yes, Telford? 

Telford. ( almost relenting) Do yon want to 
see me, Sylvia ? 

Sylvia. Yes. 

Telford. W r ell,-dearest? 

Sylvia. ( brightening) Oh, then yon do love me, 
don’t you? 

Telford. Why, of course I do. 

Sylvia. But I thought perhaps, Telford, that 
you- 

Telford. Sylvia, I’ll always love you. 

Sylvia. And would you do anything I asked 
you? 

Telford. Most anything, Sylvia. ( smiling) 

Sylvia. Or tell me anything I want to know? 
Telford. ( laughing softly) Well, Sylvia, I 

would ordinarily but— (Sylvia sniffles) now dear, 




MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


33 


( very earnest) don’t let’s have a scene, please. Now 
I know what you’re going to ask me. 

Sylvia. Yes ? 

Telford. You’re going to ask me who took Hazel. 
O’Neil driving this afternoon, aren’t yon? 

Sylvia. And Telford, you know yon—must—tell. 

Telford. Why “ must,” little lady ? 

Sylvia. Because, Telford, I love you,—and—■ 
(starting to cry) 

Telford. Of course you do, dear. 

Sylvia. And you love me. That’s why you must 
tell me—don’t—don’t—you—you—see,—Telford ? 
(weeping uncontrollably) Oh, Telford, I can’t stand 
it. It’s breaking me heart. Please tell me, won’t 
you,—won’t you—dear? 

Telford. (opposite her at table . Starts at the 
word “ clear ” looks toward dining room as he hears 
Fred laugh) Oh, this is a shame, (he takes her 
hand and she pulls it away) Now listen, Sylvia— 
sweetheart. I love you dearly and we mustn’t let 
anything interfere, and we won’t, will we? (Sylvia 
still weeps) And you must trust me in my love for 
you. You do, don’t you, Sylvia? (no reply) An¬ 
swer me, Sylvia. 

Sylvia, (between sobs) I’ll always try, but— 
but- 

Telford. Well, then— (very tenderly) Now sup¬ 
pose I did take Miss O’Neil this afternoon, (she 
sobs louder) I’m only saying suppose, (she nods 
her head) Perhaps it was through circumstances 
over which I had no control. Perhaps I was going 
to tell you this evening as soon as I came and explain 
it. You see, dearest, it wouldn’t necessarily be so 
bad—if I did. And you see most of all that it 
wouldn’t lessen my love for you, and shouldn’t yours 
for me,—and—and that’s all that counts,—so don’t 
you see, Sylvia,—sweetheart?- 




34 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


Sylvia. You talk beautifully, Telford, but, 
but- (wiping her eyes) 

Telfoed. Yes?- 

Sylvia. But I must know. Jane says—I mean 
Marcia,—I mean I must know, and you must tell me. 

Telfoed. I’ve told you I can’t, dear, 

Sylvia, {talcing off ring; Telfoed starts, having 
forgotten about that) Then—I—suppose—I shall 
have to—do it. {weeping) Unless you do tell me, 
Telford,—here’s—Vour—ring, {she passes bach of 
table and in front of him, almost brushing him, and 
places the ring on the farthest, remotest corner.) 

Telfoed. Sylvia! 

{But she is weeping hysterically and passes by him 
to the door. As she does so he reaches out to 
touch her but refrains. She goes out crying 
broken-heartcdly, softly, ivith gasping sobs. 
He picks up the ring.) 

Telfoed. Oh, damn this whole business, anyway. 
{crosses to door left) Come in here, Fred. 

{Enter Feed and Steve.) 

Feed. Is it over? {excitedly) 

Telfoed. Yes, it’s over, completely so, I’m afraid. 

Steve. Did you get the ring? {noticing him) 
Why, Tel, it wasn’t as bad—— 

Telfoed. Yes, it was and I’m sick of it. 

Maecia. {from hall) Jane, Jane come here at 
once. 

Feed, {making a face and whistling) Another 
bracer. Quick, beat it, fellows, {exits hurriedly 
pushing the men roughly in front of him before they 
can speak again) 

{Enter Maecia and Jane.) 




MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


35 


Marcia. Well, Jane, I’m doing my best to—to 
manage, but it’s up to you. 

Jane. ( very angry) Well,—show him in here. 
No, you go quiet, Sylvia. I’ll call him. (as Mar¬ 
cia starts to left) 

Marcia. My goodness, Jane, don’t be—be—rude. 
(Marcia leaves quickly, looking back) Fred Lie- 
cester. ( very quiet in dining room) Fred Lieces- 
ter, do you hear me ? 

(Enter Fred bolting into the room, showing at once 

that he is going to be master of the situation.) 

Fred. Yes, I hear you. So, you’re here, are you? 
(Jane is completely astounded. Very impulsively) 
I’ve been wanting a chance to speak to you. (rais¬ 
ing his voice) I want to tell you first of all that— 
that—I’m—sick and tired of—of— (losing himself, 
and then catching sight of her left hand) Give me 
back my ring, (triumphantly) 

Jane. Well, of all the- 

Fred. And above all don’t interrupt. I’ve been 
waiting for the chance to talk to you, alone. There 
are things I want to find out myself and now you’ve 
given me the opportunity, and, and— (louder and 
again losing himself and half laughing at her) and 
—give—me—back—my—ring. 

Jane. Fred Liecester, are you crazy ? 

Fred. Did you hear me, I want my ring. You 
say you love me and then treat me as if I were a — 
a graft eating politician,—a—a thief in the night, 
a—a snake in the grass,—a—an anarchist loaded 
with bombs, —a— a bum loaded with anarchy, a — a 
(losing himself again in his excitement) give me 
back my ring. 

Jane. Fred Liecester, (almost shouting and 
raising her right arm. They are back of table to 
right) 



36 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


Fred. ( same tone) Jane Brewster! ( raising 
his right arm) My ringster. ( raising left arm, 
finger extended and facing her) 

Jane, (catching his spirit) Here take it. 
(takes off ring) Yon lobster, (meeting him in his 
actions and demeanor. While his arms are still in 
the air she puts the ring on table, he watching her) 

Fred, (nonplussed at “ lobsterbut recovers, 
lowers his arms , picks up ring and puts it on) 
Alia—a—a—a— . (folds his arms) Now, woman — 
do your—worst. 

Jane. You— you—wretch. (Turns away and 
Fred bursts out laughing ; she ivaits until he sub¬ 
sides) Now, perhaps you’ll be kind enough to give 
me your attention. 

Fred, (saluting) At your service. 

Jane. What do you think of yourself, anyway? 

Fred. Why—me ? 

Jane. (sneeringly) A pretty sort for polite 


society. 

Fred. Polite? (raises eyebrows) 

Jane. The sooner this interview is over the 
better. 

Fred. Granted. 

Jane. Now then. 

Fred. Well then. 

Jane. Will you tell me which of you took that 


girl driving? 

Fred. No ma’am. 
Jane. Did you? 

Fred. Won’t say. 

Jane. Did Steve? 
Fred. Still won’t say. 
Jane. Did Tel ? 

Fred. Won’t say again? 
Jane. Why not ? 

Fred. Promised. 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


37 


Jane. Whom ? 

Teed. Jimmy. ( tries to stop the word) Oh,— 
ah- 

Jane. Jimmy! Jimmy? 

Fred. Well, Jane, ( hurriedly ) that is— you 

see- 

Jane. Yes, I see. Then all this is that wager of 
Jimmy’s. 

Fred. ( hurriedly ) But I didn’t say anything 

about a wager. 

Jane. But Marcia did. She told us before you 
came. I see it all now. She doesn’t suspect that 
this is his doings. I thought perhaps it was but 
wasn’t sure. And now, you, you confirm it. 

Fred. But, Jane. 

Jane. Thanks, Mr. Frederick Liecester, for your 
assistance. Now, we shall find out, (to rear door) 
Marcia, Marcia, Come here, Marcia. 

Fred. ( hurrying to dining-room door) Come in, 
fellows, quick. The jig’s nearly up. 

(Enter Telford and Steve hurriedly.) 

Telford. Why—what-? 

j 

(Enter Marcia rear door.) 

Marcia. Oh, I knew Fd manage. Jane, you 
found out? 

Jane. Not yet,.but we shall know. 

Marcia. Why, from whom? 

Jane. Jimmy. 

Marcia. Jimmy—? I don’t understand. 

Jane. Yes, Jimmy. Mr. Liecester there, gave it 
away, (looks at him witheringly) 

Marcia. But, how-? 

Jane. Your wager, Marcia. Your wager. Don’t 






88 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


you see? Fred said he promised Jimmy not to tell. 
(Telfoed and Steve look at him) 

Feed, (to them) It slipped out. 

Jane. Don’t you see, Marcia. It’s Jimmy’s 
doings. To-night is his last chance to win from you. 
That’s why he didn’t come to dinner. That’s why I 
got this note about the drive. 

Maecia. A note. You didn’t tell me you re¬ 
ceived a note. 

Jane. Now, (as if it were settled) we’ll call up 
your blessed husband and make him tell. I knew 
we’d find out. 

Maecia. But, let’s see the note. (Jane gives it 
to her . She opens it quickly) Why, it’s Jimmy’s 
writing inside. “ Please destrov at once.” Oho-o- 
o-o-, I see. You thought at the last moment. Now, 
Jimmy Main waring, you’ve got four women to reckon 
with instead of one. 

Feed. Poor James, (the men laugh) 

Maecia. (as she sees Jane starting to *phone ) 
What are you going to do, Jane? 

Jane. Going to call up Jimmy and find out. 

Maecia. (rushing after her and pulling her hack) 
You’ll do nothing of the sort. You can’t. I’ve got 
to find out, to win that wager. Do you think that 
now, I’m going to let him beat me. 

Feed. Bully for you, Marcia. 

Maecia. Jane, you go get Sylvia and Louise. 
Tell them what we know and bring them here. Go 
on, Jane. 

(Jane reluctantly goes out, rear to right.) 

Maecia. And, now, will you men be kind enough, 
to tell me just what you promised Jimmy. 

Steve. Fred, I suppose we can tell that much. 

Telfoed. But, you see, Marcia, you’ve got to 
straighten out these quarrels as well. 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


39 


Fred. Well, you see, ( slowly and deliberately) 
we simply promised we wouldn’t tell who went driv¬ 
ing this afternoon with Hazel O’Neil, 

Marcia. Is that all? 

Steve. Yes. 

Marcia. ( thoughtfully ) You—promised—you— 
wouldn’t—tell who—( thinking ) Oh,—why then,— 
why, then, you can write it. (delighted with herself) 

Telford. ( seeing a way out of the difficulty) 
Why, yes, if that wouldn’t be equivocating. You see, 
fellows, I’m anxious to get this settled. We didn’t 
tell Jimmy we wouldn’t write it. 

Fred. ( looking almost disgustedly at Telford) 
Well, let it go at that, then, (to Marcia) But, 
you’re not to tell the girls. 

(Enter the girls, Sylvia bloiving her nose. They 
go dozen right away from the men, who are left. 
Marcia is back of table.) 

Marcia. Girls, I have it. The men have agreed 
to write which one of them is the culprit, (men look 
at each other, knowinghj) 

Jane. Write to whom? 

Marcia. Why, to me, of course. 

Louise. And, will you tell? 

Marcia. Well- 

Jane. No, you don’t, either. I for one am going 
to know the straight of this. Does it help matters 
any to have you know which one of them did it? 
(men smile at each other) Oh, you can smile. 

Marcia, (looking at 'phone) Oh, this is terrible, 
Jimmy Mainwaring. I wish I had you here. Let me 
think. I will, somehow,—manage. 

(There is a pause. Marcia is walking back and 



40 


MRS. MAINWARING'S MANAGEMENT 


forth, deep in thought. Slyvia looks at Tel¬ 
ford longingly. She meets his eyes and turns 
away her head. Repeat this twice. Jane is 
glaring at the men and Fred, under her look, 
shifts uneasily as he has his arm on Steve’s 
shoulder. Steve is looking vacantly about 
waiting, and Louise is watching Marcia.) 

Marcia. Girls! I have it. Oh, I have it. Will 
you be content if just one of you knows who did it? 
Jane, it might be you. 

Louise. Well,—yes. 

Jane. Yes, if—— 

Marcia. And you men? ( they look at each 
other) 

Fred. ( looks knowingly) Yes, for I must con¬ 
fess that I’m anxious to know what you’re going to 
do with this ( sweeping the stage with his arm) and 
us. ( pointing to himself and the other two) Aren’t 
3 r ou. ( they nod assent) 

Marcia. And, all of you, because, this is Jimmy’s 
and my fault, all on account of our wager, will you 
say that when I have finished that you’ll all be— 
agreeable ? 

Telford. I’ll answer for us. We’re willing to 
make any reasonable concession. 

Louise. But, Marcia, do what you’re going to, 
don’t stand there- 

Marcia. Just wait. Now, here, you men give 
me those rings. ( takes them and puts them on a 
table in a row, goes to desk and gets four small 
pieces of paper) Now, you girls, get in a line, and 
you men over there, and listen. ( she comes around 
in front of table and quickly places one of the pieces 
of paper on it) I have three pieces of paper and 
three pencils, and I’m going to give one of each to 
each of the men, and I want the one who took 





MRS. MAIN WAKING’S MANAGEMENT 


41 


Jimmy’s sister’s guest driving this afternoon to write 
his name. You’ll all have to pretend to write, and 
then I’ll give a paper to each of the girls,—and— 
don’t you see? One of you will know, and, Jane, it 
might be you. 

Jane. (thinking and half amused) Well, I’m 
willing to take my chances on that, (the men look 
worried) 

Fred. Alright. It’s a go. (nods reassuringly to 
the other two) Say, I’m anxious to see what she’s 
going to do. It’s no use for Jimmy to try to get the 
best of that head, (pointing to Marcia) 

Marcia, (has been fixing the papers and pencils) 
Alright. Now let’s begin. Nov/, all turn your backs. 
(the girls turn obediently, the men wonderingly) 
So. Now, here, Telford, Steve and Fred, (passes in 
front of them and gives them each a paper and pen¬ 
cil) Now, write. And while the men are writing 
I’ll give you girls your rings, (goes over to them 
and does so) 

Telford, (while she is on the other side of the 
room) Say, what are we going to do about this? 

Fred. Leave it to me. 

Steve. All right, (they smile and begin to 
write, holding papers against wall l. A pause) 

Marcia. All ready, (back to her position in 
front of table) 

Fred. Yes. (laughingly) 

Marcia. Very well, then. Now, fold them twice. 
(she collects papers and goes to left of table) Now, 
all keep your backs turned while I change them 
about, (she holds the folded papers up to the lamp, 
one by one, and discovers the last one has the writing 
on it. She looks for a place to put it and excitedly 
and suddenly throws it under the table, and substi¬ 
tutes in its place the other piece of paper which she 
had previously put on the table, folding it as the 


42 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


others are, smiling to herself and humming all the 
while) All ready. Face about. Here you are, Jane, 
Sylvia and Louise. (gives them each one of the 
papers) Now, read them, (she goes bach to the 
front of the table, guarding the paper on the floor) 

(The girls read, or rather look at the papers ivhile 
the men watch closely, but as no one reads a 
name their faces are impassive, and the men 
look wonderingly. Marcia smiles.) 

Fred. Button, button, who’s got the button. 

Louise. (changing manner and looking at the 
ring) That’s for you to guess, isn’t it, Sylvia. 

Sylvia, (very happy) Really, Marcia, dear, I 
think we all owe you a vote of thanks. You’re won¬ 
derful. (looking at Telford) Oh, I’m so happy. 

Marcia. Well, is everybody happy? 

All. (after a slight pause) Yes. 

Marcia. Then, no votes. 

Telford. Marcia, it’s a beautiful night and the 
moon’s great. My big car’s at the door and the river- 
road home is in fine shape,—and—and would you ask 
the ladies, please, if they would care to- 

Sylvia. Oh, that’ll be splendid, Tel. (he crosses 
to her and takes her hands. She is beaming) I was 
sure Marcia would manage. 

Marcia. Well, if you want to go to-night, I’ll 
send your things around in the morning. 

Steve. We’ll go too, won’t we Louise—dear? 

Louise. Sure. The air will be great. (she goes 
to desk up right and Steve follows her) 

Fred And we will too, won’t we, Jane,—dear? 

Jane. Don’t be silly, Fred, (he crosses to her) 

Marcia. Now, you girls, go get your things and 
don’t say anything more about it until you get in 
the automobile, and then—Now, hurry. 



MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


43 


Fred. Steve, you bring my hat and coat in, will 
you. I want to speak to Marcia. 

Marcia. Now, run along folks, {they go out 
laughing and chatting, the girls turn right, the men 
left) 

Fred. Say, Marcia, I think they need you in 
Washington. Fm proud of you. Congratulations on 
winning } r our wager. 

Marcia. Why, that’s so, I have, {looking down 
to see that gaper under the table is safe) Fd almost 
forgotten that part of it. But, let’s say no more 
about it. 

Fred. Except this, {he is at right of table hand¬ 
ling a booh) When are you going to make Jimmy 
pay up? 

Marcia. Wednesday night for in Aida. 

Fred, {still handling the booh) Well, let us 
fellows get tickets for the girls, will you, and all 
go. 

Marcia. Good. A celebration. (Fred drops 
booh on floor, accidentally, Marcia starts, nervous. 
They both reach for it and Marcia gets it, at the same 
time trying to hide the paper. She puts booh on 
table out of Fred's reach) But wait till I see 
Jimmy. ’Twas a clever ruse, his staying away, and 
sending a note, {anxious to get Fred away) 

Fred. But vou were too much for him, eh ? 
{laughing heard in ball) 

Marcia. Well, good night, Fred, {taking hold of 
him and walking him bach to the door) See you 
Wednesday evening. 

{The others appear in the doorway, all looking happy. 
Marcia hastens to the table, looking at paper be¬ 
neath it as she goes, then turns about with her 
back to the table on up-stage side leaning against 
it and spreading out her shirts, facing the rest.) 



44 


MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


Fred. Give me my things, Steve. ( takes them ) 
Marcia. Well, good night, friends. 

(The three couples come up and shake hands with 

her.) 

Telford. That’s what we are, good friends, now. 
Sylvia. Dear Marcia, Fm so happy. (Marcia 
laughs) 

Louise. Good night, Marcia, wish you could en¬ 
joy the ride with us. 

Steve. Tell Jimmy we missed him awfully. 

Fred. No, tell him that he missed it awfully. 
( laugh) 

Jane. Marcia, I feel played out. I’ll call you 
up in the morning and tell you what a good time 
we’ve had. 

Marcia. (waiting until they are nearly gone then 
following them, looking hack at paper) Good-night 
eveiybody. Fred’s got some news for you for next 
week. 

(All go out rear to left, Marcia last with another 
look at the paper. There is a chorus of good- 
nights and then the door is heard to close. A 
silent moment and then Marcia comes almost 
running in.) 

Marcia. I was sure Fred was going to see that 
paper. Oh, I’m crazy to find out which one it was. 

(By this time she is in front of the table and as she 
stoops to pick up the paper she sits on the floor.) 

Marcia. Now, we’ll see who went driving with 
Jimmy’s sister’s guest. 



MRS. MAINWARING’S MANAGEMENT 


45 


(She unfolds the paper nervously and reads , with a 
look of blankest amazement.) 

Marcia. Why! — It —was -Jimmy! (bursts 

into a peal of laughter) No wonder he didn’t come 
home for dinner, (still laughing) 


CURTAIN. 


























































